Or worse. Woken up and being like “thank god it was just a dream” then realising that no. No it wasn’t, you didn’t even dream. It was all real.
I’m scared.
Im slowly pushing away everyone I love again.
I feel so cold and alone.
And when everyone is gone… this time it might be different.
Now I don’t fear death, I find peace in it.
I’m scared.
I’m pissed, I’m annoyed, whatever. I’m tired of people turning their noses up at anorexics, I’m tired of people judging, I’m tired of people assuming things when they don’t know what’s really going on. I’m tired of the fact that everyone who seems to have a strong opinion has NEVER experienced any form of eating disorder, yet are willing to point fingers, spit venom and create opinions. I’m tired of people and the world telling me what beauty is and what it isn’t. I’m tired of them saying things they don’t know shit about.
When you see a deathly thin girl, with a tube in her nose, a slight smile forced onto her face, you shouldn’t judge her. You don’t know how she got there, you don’t know the path she has walked to become a walking, talking, living breathing skeleton. You don’t know how much pain, both physically and emotionally, that she has endured.
So before you turn your nose up and assume she’s some stupid, shallow fuck that is obsessed with the skeletal thin models on the cover of Vogue try and think again. Let’s break the stigma. We need to. We have to.
She is beautiful too. She is worthy to be loved. She deserves to walk this earth and not have to worry about onlookers gasping, muttering and judging.
The cause of fear however small in the end comes down to one thing. Death. In the end the ‘worst’ thing that could ever happen because of your fear is you could die. But what happens when you no longer fear death. You stop fearing anything, you play chances with your life. You don’t look both ways on a crossing, you stop wearing your seatbelt in the car. Little things that once scared you, don’t bother you anymore.
